


One Thing Left You Could Say

by orphan_account



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Tragic Romance, not detailed smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-04-09 14:15:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4352078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael just moved in to his new apartment, and everyone in the compound has been so welcoming especially this certain quiffed blonde that catches his eye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Thing Left You Could Say

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. So this is my first work in here so I had a little trouble with stuff at first, but here you go. It's turned out to be a very long one and I really don't want to do this over my WP account since I already got tons of unfinished fanfics.
> 
> Read every part. There are hints on the ending. Also, it happened it;s my first time writing smut so, I didn't get to too much details. Please.
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoy!
> 
> (Title from Avril Lavigne's Let Me Go)

 

"Need help?", a muscular tanned Asian-looking guy offered, seeing how it was already getting dark yet here I am, still struggling with a couple more boxes to put into my room. I should have known to have kept track of the possible traffic jams. _Stupid road works._

"If you don't mind", I smiled, and in no less than 10 minutes, all the other boxes, were in my room. 

"Calum", he said, offering his hand for a handshake. I took his in mine, shaking it, not minding how dusty our hands were, while mumbling a very awkward 'Michael' as a sort of introduction. When he let go, I had to use my shirt to wipe the sweat beads that was running down my face. Gross, I know, but I don't have a spare towel at hand, so that will do. Who knew that moving into a new apartment and transferring almost everything you own all by yourself, is this much of a work.

Calum bid goodbye and went back to his apartment that was two doors down, well, that is after I insisted him for 15 minutes that I could fix the rest of my stuff all by myself.

It was almost midnight when I finished fixing my new apartment. Every furniture was left by the previous owner so all the stuff I brought are my clothes and bling-blings. I was about to go to the bathroom to finally clean myself up when a knock was heard from the outside. _Seriously? Who the fuck would be there at around midnight?_   After a few seconds of internally debating with myself, I opened the door a little and peeked, revealing a tall, lanky, blonde.

"Uhm, how may I help?" I asked in a quite unsure tone. _Oh goodness, Michael, pull your shit together._

"I think this is yours? It was left by the bottom of the stairs, and I presume you're the one who just, uhm, moved in?"

That's when my gaze darted to the thing he was holding, and the moment I saw the familiar box, I instantly pulled the door ajar and took the box from him.

"Oh, shit, thank you. That contained my most important possessions, thank you, thank you so much", I said, hugging him. I instantly pulled away when I realized how sweaty and dusty I was. _Nice way to make a first impression on a neighbor, Michael._

"Meh, no biggie. I usually have that little job of che-oh", he chuckled while I mentally face palmed for the embarrassment I caused myself. Of fucking course, I haven't had dinner and I am obviously famished. How come I forgot?

I put down the box beside me, and started fumbling for my phone to search for possible convenience stores that are withing the proximity for me to grab a couple of stuff to eat when the stranger at the door held out a paper bag in front of me.

"Uhm, you can take it. You probably have worked too hard today, so, uhm, yeah, eat?" he said, quite hesitant in his usage of words.

"Please, its yours. You haven't had di-"

"I've eaten, and I got a little excess out of my order, so yeah, please take it. Think of it as a welcoming gift?" he pleaded, and oh for the love of God, his eyes shone the bluest of all the shades of blue I have ever known. How it shone in the little light I had, I do not know.

"Thanks", I smiled, taking it using my left hand and extended my other for a little handshake, "and, Michael, by the way."

He shook my unkempt hand with his _**cold**_ ones, before he left.

 _Luke._ Such an angelic name for such an angelic dude.

 

* * *

 

"Fuck, I never lose this game."

"Well, now you do, Hood", I taunted him, throwing a couple of marshmallows while laughing at how I just tainted his clean record in FIFA. _Well, all the times I spent in my mancave back in Sydney sure did pay off._

"Then, fuck you, butthole", he retorted, flashing a finger at me, and throwing back a marshmallow in my direction. He failed miserably at that attempt, though.

Calum and I had gotten closer the past week. Not only because we were apparent neighbors, but also because we were actually taking up the same degree programs in the same exact nearby university. Well, that just came to our knowledges yesterday, while we were paying for our fees.

Time passed by quickly while we both got engrossed in beating each other's asses in the game that we didn't noticed that it has gotten quite dark already. As much as I wanted a rematch out of the draw in the last game, I knew I had to head out and fend of for my famished self. Cal insisted me to stay and eat at his unit again, but I politely declined, just because I didn't want to abuse the brotherhood that slowly grows in between us since I had eaten dinner in his unit for, well, the past 7 days I was in this compound.

I bid him good bye as I made way out of his apartment and turned to find the nearest takeout that I could find. Well, looks like I'll be living off of fast food again, since I do not know how the fuck would I cook without making a miniature version of hell in my kitchen.

Finding a Chinese takeout 3 blocks and 4 left turns away, I went in and tried to choose something. I highly resisted myself from ringing Calum up to ask him what would he likely suggest for me to eat in here, but he'd probably just whack my head off and break my eardrums by telling, more like yelling at, me repetitively that he isn't Asian. I was about to give up on choosing and just find another place when I felt a tap on my shoulder. _A cold, tingly touch._

"Oh, L-Luke. Uhm, hi", I stammered, seeing I happened to meet my neighbor again after a whole week since the time I moved in.

"Didn't expect you here, though", he chuckled.

"Yeah, I'm just trying to avoid putting the whole compound in the grill, so I go for takeouts", I admitted shyly.

"How did you survive the week? I didn't see you outside much."

"Calum."

"Oh", he coldly replied, his eyes turning into a colder shade of blue. I suddenly began to wonder if he knows Calum to make his face turn into a very cold expression and make his breathing rigid. I was focusing on his breathing so much I didn't notice I was already staring and that he was asking me something.

"Uhm, yeah, what?" i asked him, apparently, getting out of my trance.

"I asked, if there was anything you were to order", he repeated.

"Uhm, I actually have no idea what to order", I admitted sheepishly.

He smiled again, letting a little giggle roll out of his lips. _Oh, please, hold me back down from that giggle that was made in heaven._

"Well, let me pick the best for you, then, 'cause you deserve only the best", he said, going to the counter. i wanted to stop him from paying for me but I was too caught on to his words that I all I got myself to do was hold my jaw to keep my mouth closed.

_Why are you affecting my this way, Luke Hemmings?_

 

* * *

 

I woke up the next day under the blanket fort Luke and I shared that night. Last night went so good from simply eating the Chinese takeout in my unit to watching a couple of movies under a blanket fort we made using the chairs and a couple of stuff I did not know I had in my unit. Luke just found them in a couple of cabinets, and boy, he was so giggly when we did these forts. _Fuck, please hold me before I actually take him down whenever he giggles._

Luke was gone when I woke up, and I didn't know why I had the sudden need to feel so sad and be so clingy to the boy who I learned was a year younger than I was, yet has been in the compound for 6 or 7 years already. This is why probably he was trusted enough to check upon the stuff people might have left outside when they move in. Yet how come Calum has never told me about the boy? I remember him telling me he was one of the first tenants of the compound.

I got up and cleaned up the blankets and pillows, and other stuff. When I was bringing the chairs, that's when I saw the little goodbye Luke left.

 

**_I cooked you a little breakfast/lunch since I don't know what time you'll be up. But yeah, sorry for leaving without a proper goodbye. Thanks for doing the blanket fort night with me. I always wanted to do that, but there wasn't enough time. Thank you so much, Mike._ **

**_Always,_ **

**_Lukey._ **

 

When I saw the little note, saying that my heart was fluttering was surely an understatement, as everything in me was exploding like fireworks on New Year's Eve. I ate the food that was on my table and took the note into my little box of memories in my bedroom. However, one line bothered me so much.

_Why wasn't there enough time for Luke?_

 

* * *

 

Classes kicked in before I knew it, making me spend more time with Calum, and lesser alone. Not that I didn't want his company. I actually have been treating him as a brother. It's just I miss the times I could walk around by myself, quite unnoticed.

And by spending more time with him, I actually meant I slept most of my nights on his couch, trying to finish a ton of our academic requirements in his unit, which also meant more pizza and caffeine nights just to keep us kicking to accomplish essays and drawings. _Fucking engineering, why did I even choose it?_

And as days started turning into weeks, I started missing Luke’s presence around me, like surprising me all of a sudden at a corner. He seems to be there during the unexpected times, and surprisingly, he happens to be there at the times I would unexpectedly have troubles.

Luke started giving me this feeling I couldn’t explain. It has just been almost a month since I stayed in this compound yet, whenever he’s around me, I happen to be flustered at almost everything he does – from his giggle, to his smile, to his gorgeous bluest of all the blue eyes that matches the skies, the seas, the oceans, his everything.

Every single time I’d come home, I would always be seeing a note from Luke on the dining table, saying I need to eat up something other than pizza and take out so I keep up with my health, making me shake my head and stupidly smile. Sometimes, he would stay in, and wouldn’t leave until he tucks me to bed, and plays a slow melody from the turntable he happened to find at the top of a closet. How he happened to find that there, I do not know. Oh, and yes, I gave him access to my unit, since we started being so close. I trust him enough not to grab anything precious I own. And I actually do not own much of something worth more than a hundred dollars.

As every little thing now happens every night, I started asking myself one question.

_What is going on between me and Luke at the moment?_

 

* * *

 

A week after the first wave of our exams and submissions were over, Calum and I decided to hit the stress out in a nearby club with all the booze we can. We knew by now, it would be packed with the lot of students who would also whack the mental exhaustion out of their systems, but we didn’t care. We still went and partied. Calum probably has plans on getting smashed tonight, but for me, I had no idea. Calum probably needs someone to help him walk home but my mind really wants to forget all the sleepless nights and formulas I’ve dealt with.

Hours into the night, I found myself and Calum joining the crowd on the dancefloor to some music. Calum was surrounded by a couple of girls but he sort of ignores them. Of course, he admitted he likes dicks more than a vagina, that’s why.

I do not know, the world around me was so blurry that I have no Idea who I was grinding on to. I just kept going on the dance floor, not minding if I would be waking up tomorrow with a massive hangover.

“Michael”, a familiar voice whispered into my ear. _Luke._

So he was the one I was grinding on? _Nice._

His voice turned me on more, so I kept grinding. But he had other ideas, so he turned me around.

“Why’d you stop me? Don’t you like it?” I asked giggling.

“You are so smashed, you need to go home”, he said, still near my ear, making me feel his hot breath. _Fucking turn on._

“Come on, Lucas, don’t be such a buzz kill”, I said, caressing his face and played with his lip ring while grinding my groin on his. _Oh hot blondie has a lip ring._

“Fuck it, Michael, it’s not safe here”, he said into my ear in a more stern voice.

I did not listen to him, and the next thing I know, his lips was on mine. The alcohol in my system went temporarily down the drain, realizing he really is kissing me. I didn’t know what to do and I let my body just do what it wants. Seconds later, I find myself kissing Luke back, with my hands going through his blonde hair. I had no idea how everything happened, but he got me outside the club, and onto the hood of my car, still not pulling himself away from me. He started proving he was great in multi-tasking when he got my car open in the passenger’s side, and pushed ourselves in.

I didn’t care about being under him at the moment; all I wanted to do was savor the moment of his lips on mine. I fucking love him, no doubt. Months since we first met but I was so fucking whipped with this guy in seconds.

I didn’t know when he pulled away, and when he got into the driver’s seat, and started the ignition. Either way, I have no idea how he knew where the keys of my car are in my apartment and how he knew Calum and I were in the club.

I didn’t know when and how we reached the apartment, but the last thing I know was him whispering, _“Don’t ever ever come near danger again"_ while tucking me in my bed.

 

* * *

 

When I woke up the next day, I was welcomed with a banging pain in my head. _Great. Hangovers._

I groaned loudly in my bed, still having the pain that seems to be boring into my skull. I turned this way and that, when someone tapped me on my shoulders. And from the cold touch, I knew it was Luke.

“Take this, and I cooked soup”, handing me a couple of Tylenol and a glass of water. I mumbled an inaudible thank you, trying to avoid eye contact, when something hit my head. _Was last night a dream?_

I went back to lying down after taking in the soup he made. I couldn’t sleep, but I decided to just stay in bed while the throbbing pain was still there. Luke was watching some show in the television. I didn’t care at all what that was, I was busy trying to remember if last night did really happen. Did we really just kiss? Did he really initiate it?

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the voice of someone on the TV. Luke was watching news?

_‘More than 30 people died in a riot in a Club Jinx in Sydney’_

I didn’t quite make out the next couple of words the news anchor was saying, because I suddenly went back into last night’s memory, vividly making me realize everything was real.

 

_“You are so smashed, you need to go home.”_

_“Fuck it, Michael, it’s not safe here.”_

_“Don’t ever ever come near danger again."_

“Luke?”

“Sleep, Michael, go back to sleep”, he said, turning the television off, going near me, and putting my blanket back up.

“You, knew?”

“Please, Michael, not yet. Not today.”

And as if to shut me up, he kissed me again. And I am sober this time, so I know it was real. And his kiss was so addicting I feel myself going back to sleep, but not long before he pulled away and spoke.

“It was gut feeling.”

 

* * *

 

That afternoon, after waking up in a better yet longing feeling, Luke wasn’t anywhere to be found at my unit. Deciding to check on my friend a couple of doors down, I saw that he left a note that he had to attend to something, but he’ll be back in my unit later. _Oh well._

I knocked on Cal’s door, thinking he might be jacking off to some porno or something. When he didn’t answer after a couple of knocks, I decided to turn the knob of the doors to Calum’s apartment, surprising myself when it isn’t locked, which was weird because he’s usually the guy that keeps himself locked so he was secure. 

“Cal, you there?” I called out in the unlit room. He surely has these dark curtains closed at the weirdest times.

I fumbled for the light switch, and when I finally flicked it on, I had to hold my breath for a few seconds seeing Calum’s bloody state. He got onto the riot last night.

I was about to run into him, when a curly blonde stopped my tracks. He looks familiar.

“Is Calum okay?” I asked, still searching through my memory the name of the guy in front of me.

“Yeah, just a few bruises, but he’ll live.”

I let him fix my friend first, so I roamed around Calum’s apartment, making me get a closer view of everything.

I noticed how a couple of picture frames were blank, which was weird since the others still had Cal’s childhood pictures. There were also marks made by nails on the wall, but the frames that hanged from there were gone. _Why did Calum remove it?_

“Uhm, you gonna talk to him? He’s awake, just can’t keep his bloody eye open”, the curly, brusque man told me.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Okay, I’d leave you. If you need anything, hit my home there”, pointing to the unit of the owner of the compound. _Oh, so he owns this. Oh god, Michael._

I nodded, making my way to Cal. I talked to him about a couple of stuff, but didn’t keep it long. He needs rest. And I actually feel sorry for him.

 

* * *

 

Days after the club incident, Luke and I have been spending so much time with each other in my place. I have no idea, he has been extra protective since that night, and we've been overly cuddly, too. However, everything, has no strings attached, no commitment, nothing in between. Purely platonic.

I have no idea what came into me tonight. When he came home, I just attacked his lips with mine. I felt needy without the actual reason why. I wasn't horny. I didn't watch porn the whole day, yet I felt I need to feel his lips on mine again, to make him touch me in a way I feel so loved, so cared of, because he doesn't just touch me to feel everything, he caresses me until my soul.

I didn't know he was already kissing back, one of his hands roaming around the underneath of my shirt,  while the other was holding my black hair. I tried so hard not to release all the moans I have been holding, especially when he did. _Oh boy, this is getting heated._

I managed to get Luke on the bed without parting from the kiss. When we pulled away to breathe, I looked at him in the eye, where he was pleading, he was saying please. I did not need to hear his voice. We both developed the eye communication in the couple of days we had spent together. I started stripping his usual black band shirt, when he asked me something

"Are you sure about this, Mikey", he asked in a voice that mixed both needy and nervous cries.

"Are you okay with it, Lukey", I asked him back.

When he leaned it for another kiss, I knew the answer. And while he was on it, tongues battling for dominance, I started unbuckling the belt of his jeans, and pulled it down, leaving him only in his boxers. When I started positioning myself on top of him, he suddenly pushed me down, making him top, right now.

"You are so unfair", he said in a husky voice, while removing the random muscle tee I was wearing. He started sucking on the most sensitive part of my neck after throwing my shirt on the floor.

"F-fuck, please." It was my turn to plead with the need as he stopped sucking, and suddenly planted a kiss on the hickey he made.

"Just making sure you're marked as mine", he said, unbuckling my jeans and before I knew it, I was left only in my boxers. I was internally trying to comprehend what he just said, when he began attacking my lips again.

"Mhmm", I moaned while his words were still running in my head. _Just making sure you are marked as mine._

When he pulled away, I made sure I'd earn dominance again, so I turned him over, putting me back on top.

"What are we, Luke?" I asked him, not wanting to do this out of need but out of love.

"Anything you w-want us to be, Mike. Fuck, just do it, you don't just stop in the middle of every thing please", he whined.

I started palming him through his boxers, earning another whimper from him. When he told me anything I want us to be, I knew the answer. We were getting there. Almost.

When his whines started getting louder, I suddenly, pulled his boxers down, and squeezed his already hard member that slapped his stomach.

"Mike, please, just do it, please", he cried when I started playing with his balls using my other hand.

His cries gave me the cue, so I started prepping him up with a finger, adding a digit when his moans weren't made from pain anymore. Why the fuck the lube I used was under my bed frame, I have no idea.

"Just, please, Mikey, now", he whined like a child. He really turns me on more with every whine.

I took that as a cue to finally grab the condom and the lube I threw on the floor a while ago. When I finished my stuff, I line myself on his entrance, pressing his thigh to ask him again if he really wanted to do this. When he returned it with a hand squeeze, I slowly, put myself inside of him, inch by inch, so he adjusts to it. I know he was hurting by the look on his face, so I peppered him with kisses, until he motioned for me to start moving.

The night went really fast as we both made it into our highs, with me releasing in the condom. i knew by far Calum would ask about the loud noises Luke and I probably made, but it didn't really matter.

Everything happened out of feelings and emotion, not because of need, of want.

As I was slowly positioning my self on the bed beside Luke, he pulled the covers on top of us, and whispered the words, making me sleep with a smile on my face.

_"I love you so much, Michael."_

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Luke wasn't by my side when I woke up, but seeing the breakfast on my table, I knew he went up early again, and did his usual stuff outside. I wished he just stayed though, knowing he was probably sore from last night.

I ate the breakfast he cooked, wondering how the fuck does this guy cook the best foods known to the human race. Or I just really doesn't have any idea how cooking goes. _Meh._

After breakfast, I decided to visit Calum, but when I saw the curly blonde go in again, I just decided to take a stroll outside. Which I found weird, since I rarely liked going outside especially when there was nothing important. Yet, my feet directed me to it.

After hours of walking, I decided to take a rest in one of the parks I've seen. It was a pretty good one, grassy, and the swings looked like it has been there for a long time, yet it stood tall against storms, rusting and etc.

I made my way back to the apartment after a few hours of just letting the wind blow itself on my face, and watching the kids play.

Tapping my feet while waiting for the signal for pedestrians to cross the street, I looked above to the sky, and saw a rainbow. I found it weird since it didn't rain. But I let it slide. It was fun seeing that arc of seven colors. I loved rainbows.

When the light hit green, I crossed the street. Yet, when I was a few steps away from the side walk, a long, loud beeping sound was heard and the next thing I knew, I was thrown into the side of the street with such an impact, and everything around me started turning in circles and be seen in a shade of black and red.

My eyes were drooping and I felt my consciousness slipping away, when I heard someone screaming my name. I battled with myself, and used the remaining strength I had to open my eyes, and st least for the last time, see the love of my life.

It was Luke, and as I made my self slip away, I felt a kiss on my lips, and his tears staining my bloodied face.

_"You'll live, Mike, you will. I love you, my Michael."_

 

* * *

 

I woke up in a bed, with a ton of tubes connected to me, and my body feeling so tired, drained and used. Everything seems so new to my eye, like I just got born in the world. My head also feels so shaken.

I looked around and found Calum with his head down beside me. I made an effort moving my hand, to tap his shoulder, and when he woke up seeing me, his eyes grew wide open, and he made way to this area and shook someone probably sleeping on the couch. _Oh, the curly blonde._

I watched Calum and see if he would shake another blonde, but, no, he didn't. It was only the compound owner. _Where is he?_

When he returned, a nurse was with them, and ran a couple of medical stuff on me, before removing the tube on my mouth, which finally allowed me to speak.

When the nurse left, Calum came rushing in, and hugged me real tight.

"Michael, oh thank God you are awake, you are safe, you are alive. You worried me so much, you bastard", he said. I chuckled since despite his worry, he managed to call me, bastard.

"I just slept? Right? I mean the accident was yesterday and... why are you looking at me like that, Cal?" i asked him when his look went from joy to sudden confusion.

"You have been unconscious for 3 weeks Michael, since that dozing driver hit you."

3 weeks. 3 long weeks since the hit. 3 weeks since I last heard his voice.

"Has he...visited?"

"Michael, who? Who is this he?" Calum asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. _Right, I haven't told them._

I took a deep breathe and answered, "Luke."

"Luke what?", Calum asked shakily, glancing at the curly blonde who started looking weird also.

"Hemmings", I deadpanned.

And when I did, the curly blonde muttered a couple of profanities while Calum had his mouth agape, breathing heavily.

"Michael, I think, you need to go back to rest, your body needs to adjust."

That's what I last heard from them before they went out the door that day. _What is going on?_

 

* * *

 

 

Nothing much happened, until I was discharged from the hospital. I asked the curly blonde where Luke lives in the compound but he told me we'll talk about it tomorrow, and the doctor reminded him that I still have to rest, since my body was badly shaken during the accident.

I decided to follow him, even if I was getting suspicious they weren't telling me everything. But after 3 hours of not falling asleep, I grabbed Luke's Blink-182 hoodie on my couch and wore it, and decided to go to Calum's unit.

I was about to knock but voices from the inside stopped me.

 

_"Calum, it has been 7 years. Seven fucking years, haven't you moved on?"_

_"Ashton, how do you expect me to move on, when it happened again."_

_"But Michael did not die!"_

_"BUT IT WAS THE EXACT INCIDENT, ON THE EXACT CORNER, AT THE EXACT TIME AND DATE, ASHTON, YOU CANNOT MAKE ME JUST FORGET IT"_

_"Stop blaming yourself with what happened to him! It was an accident!"_

_"How can you say so, when I was the one who broke him! I broke up with him, Ash."_

_"Why can't you just move forward, Calum?!"_

 

I know I shouldn't be eavesdropping, but the moment I heard my name, I knew this has something to do with my accident.

 

_"How do you expect me to move on, when during the past 7 years, everyone that stayed in his apartment had to die in the same way, on the same date and time?"_

_"How many times do I have to tell you, Michael survived?!"_

_"He barely did!"_

_"No, the doctors said, it was a miracle he had nothing major to deal with. He had no broken bones, Calum, not even a concussion, but when we found him he was drowning in blood."_

_"Ashton, please. I don't want this talk"_

_"No, Calum. I thought you were over him the moment you burned every photo of him in your unit, but no, you aren't. You need to move on Calum, you need to see everything in a new light. Luke already did."_

 

That's when everything clicked to me. Luke's cold touches. Luke's expression when I mentioned Calum. Calum's blank frames. Why Luke managed to save me from the riot in the club. Luke being there right after the accident. Luke was an entity. He was dead. _He was a ghost._

 

"Calum, how can you be so fucking blin- Michael!", the curly blonde, who apparently was Ashton, noticed me.

"No, Michael, tell me you didn't", Calum shot in my direction, seeing my face, which showed both shock and pain. _The person I loved was dead. The person I fell in love with was dead. The person I still love is dead._

"Please tell me it wasn't real" _,_ I asked him, tears starting to blur my vision.

"Michael...", Calum looked at me with pleading eyes.

"Please, just please", I asked, putting my head in his neck, crying. It was beyond painful. It was beyond my tolerance.

 

* * *

 

 

I was still crying when Ashton pulled over _the cemetery._

Calum, just accompanied me to the place, and left me when I finally read the engraved letters on the grave stone.

 

_**Luke Robert Hemmings** _

_**1993-2008** _

 

I wanted to refuse to believe it, but it's here, right in front of me. He's dead. He is fucking dead. I felt my tears staining my cheeks again, and was about to wipe them with the sleeve of his hoodie, when I felt a paper in the pocket. I grabbed it and noticed a familiar handwriting. _Luke's_

I debated whether I would read it or just tear it into pieces, knowing I had my heart just broken by him. But I decided on opening it.

 

_Mikey,_

_By the time you are reading this, you probably have known the awful truth. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I had to look so real to you, but I have to tell you everything between us, the flame that sparked, was real. And that made me feel alive, even if technically, I was dead._

_I love you, Michael. I meant that. And the night you made love to me, was the night I felt so alive, like I have been back down there and never died in that same accident I saved you from._

_Yes, Michael. It was that sacrifice that made me pass on to the afterlife. Falling in love with you was just part, but letting go, was what I needed. When Calum broke up with me, that was what I didn't learn. Letting go._

_And when i saw you, I didn't realize it had to be you, the one I had to let go. I have let go of Calum when I realized I didn't pass on through the next life. But I was held back._

_Please don't keep yourself inside the box, Mike. I want you to find someone, just like I had to. Let go._

_I love you so much, Michael. So fucking much._

_We'll see each other... in the right time._

_You'll still be my Michael. Always._

_'Til we meet again,_

_Lukey._

 

I never cried harder after the letter. He always told me he loved me. He says he always will. He says I'll always be his. 

I let the tears just flow that time. And when i felt ready to go, I stood up, and kissed his gravestone.

Just as I was a few steps away from his grave, I whispered in the wind, the words I never said.

That **one thing left I could say.**

 

_I love you so much, too, Luke. I do, and will always do._


End file.
